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These So-Called Best Ghosting Responses Are Actually Terrible

Oh, hey, friend! 

I’m so glad you’re here and not on one of those other pages so I can stop you from making a huge mistake. 

Yes, you heard that right.

You are about to make a mistake. A mistake that I and many others have made. 

You’re here because somebody is ghosting you, and now you’re looking for the perfect text to send them. 

Something biting and clever.

Something that will hit their notifications and make them say, “Wow, I am a terrible person.” 

Or maybe that’s not quite the angle you’re going for (yet). 

Maybe you want confirmation. 

You still aren’t sure if they’re ghosting you. I mean, how many days is ghosting officially

So before you go nuclear, you at least want to do a little test to see if there’s another reason the person you’ve been talking to suddenly dropped off the face of the Earth. 

And that is why I am so glad you landed HERE on this page. Because I have seen what the other pages tell you to do. 

Google “best ghosting responses” right now (you probably already did because you are here), and you will find a shocking amount of bad advice. 

I have seen the lists. You do not want to text anything from those lists. 

So then, what should you do?

A woman in a winter coat holds a coffee and stairs at her phone. A man in a t-shirt shouts to her from the side "Don't do it, Sis!" The title reads The Best Ghosting Response Advice on the Internet
Best Ghosting Responses?

The Hands-Down, Best Response To Ghosting

Are you ready? 

If somebody ghosts you, take out your phone, find their contact information, and delete it. 

10/10 success rate, every time. Guaranteed.

Say nothing. 

Nothing?!

Yes, nothing. That is the effort level this person deserves from you. I know it is unsatisfying, but it is your best option. 

If somebody ghosts you, they do not care about you or your feelings. Your response should reflect that. 

This person is an emotionally-stunted coward who could not manage an adult conversation if their life depended on it.

They probably break out in hives at the thought.

It sucks that someone like that snuck into your life.

I’m angry on your behalf! 

Which is why I want to help.

In the aftermath of ghosting, you have two choices: you can look up the best responses to ghosting on the internet, pluck a horrible recommendation from a list, and send it to the person who ghosted you, or you can maintain your dignity. 

You can’t do both. 

What if I want to text a ghoster for closure?

Don’t.

Relationship expert, Matthew Hussey, shared some great advice about getting closure from a ghoster. He said, “Let the ghosting be your closure.”

When somebody ghosts you, it tells you everything you need to know about them.

You don’t even need to wonder why they did it. 

People ghost for simple reasons. They want to cut ties without a confrontation. So they do what’s easiest for them, even if it hurts you more. 

Ghosters don’t feel guilty about any of it. Mostly, they feel relief. 

What is the point of texting a person like that?

Sure, you can call them out. Maybe it’ll hit home for them in some way. 

But you also risk looking like a mildly desperate sap who can’t take a hint. Why do that to yourself?

More>> What is Soft Ghosting?

Yes, Even Funny Responses to Ghosting Are Bad 

If you want to crank the cringe factor up to ten, read a “funny response to ghosting” suggestion from one of those other pages. 

Can you do it without dying from secondhand embarrassment?

Here are a few greatest hits from the other pages, who apparently all copy each other. I apologize in advance:

  • “Talk to you never, Casper.”
  • “This conversation is beginning to feel like a case for Ghostbusters.”
  • “All of my friends keep telling me you ghosted me, but I know they’re lying. You’re probably just saving the world or something.”
  • “Updating your contact name to 👻(ghost emoji).”
  • “Just going to assume you’ve gone full Bigfoot and fled to the woods where there’s no signal.”
  • “You’ve won one last chance to meet up for a drink! Reply now with a date and time to claim your prize!”
  • “Should I have been using a ouija board to talk to you?”
  • “This chat is beginning to look like a graveyard.”
  • “Gosh! You’re bombarding me with all these texts! I’m not used to getting so much attention!”
  • “You’re busted, ghost.”
  • “You’re inspiring. If I suddenly lost my thumbs, IDK how I’d still be posting Instagram stories.”

I am begging you, do not send something like this. 

On a serious note, what is the objective of these texts? Is it to downplay the ghosting so they’ll talk to you again? 

Why would you even want that? 

These so-called funny responses to ghosting are not just corny; they’re desperate.

You’ll either get ignored or ridiculed. Maybe they’ll pop back up and start breadcrumbing you

Zero options end with the two of you in a healthy relationship. 

More>> Love-Bombed Then Ghosted? Why It Happens.

You Deserve So Much Better

I have been in your shoes and sent the cringe-worthy text when I should have left well enough alone. 

It hurts when someone ghosts you. Even if it wasn’t that serious, rejection stings. It’s natural to want to have the final word. 

But ghosting is a type of emotional thievery. 

It robs the other person of closure.

What kind of person just disappears?

We live in a hyper-connected age. It’s not hard to send a text that says, “Hey, it’s been great getting to know you, but I don’t see this going anywhere. Good luck to you!”

Sadly, people don’t send that text. 

A 2020 Hinge survey found that 91% of users had been ghosted. With numbers like that, it’s clear people are playing both sides of the ghosting field. 

We need to do better. 

And you, my friend, deserve more. 

Call up a close friend and vent to them about your ghoster. Write out every terrible text idea that comes to your head and then toss it in the trash. 

Get the urge to react out of your system. 

Find a way to blow off steam. 

But whatever you do, don’t send your ghoster a message. Your future self will thank you for it! 

Access should not be a barrier to help.

Soberish is proudly sponsored by BetterHelp. If you have tried (and failed) to find a therapist with the knowledge and background to help you navigate your specific issues, try BetterHelp. Learn more about my counseling journey with BetterHelp or visit their website below.

Two white graphic ghosts float against a yellow background. The title reads Best Ghosting Response
best ghosting responses PIN

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